Just Misty

This morning on my drive to work I was listening to Adele's "Someone Like You." and it occured to me...I don't have anyone I can pertain this song to, that I can reminisce about, or dedicate it to.  I don't have any past "one that got away", "love of my life," "soul mate."  I don't even know if I have fully had my heart broken.  I mean, sure I was extremely upset when my high school boyfriend and I broke up, and the next few "relationship" endings obviously took their toll, but I haven't ever experienced that ONE LOVE, that gut- wrenching, 'can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars over-the-fence World Series type of love,' (yes, that last bit is a quote from Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen's "It Takes Two" movie). I then proceeded to think about this.  I am 28-years-old and I have never been "in love", the real kind.  I haven't experienced a great loss, I am almost into m...

"Words have meaning, they carry weight long after you've said them." Why do words play such a huge roll in our lives?  Words hurt us, elate us, affect us, break our hearts, send us over the edge, upset us, anger us.  We were always taught to think before we speak but that requires such a combination of thinking with your head and letting your heart take a break because when you are using word for a purpose, it is difficult to pump the brakes and think, before you let the words take control. If you are like me, words can affect you, heavily. You are extremely sensitive and you let them nag at you and get to you and you don't ever forget the ones that affected you deeply, whether in a happy way or a way that hurt you.  You offer words to others that are helpful and meaningful and words that you would like to hear yourself. If you are like me, words are your main language, in love, friendship, relationships and in every other main aspect. Words are important for you...

Why do people hold on to remnants?  I went home to Seattle a couple of weeks ago and my dad took me down to storage in their basement and just showed me this entire section that is all my stuff, "keepsakes" as he put it.  Bins, and BINS full of stuffed animals, old school projects, old clothes, shoes, toys.  I mean wow.  I need to go home for an entire week just to go through it and see if it's actual "keepsakes" or if I was just in one of those moods that I felt I needed to hold onto it for the memory. Nowadays remnants aren't necessarily things, they can be a photo in my phone, a text thread, a facebook message, an e-mail.  They are in our digital bins.  I still have a text thread where the last text was from March. I have absolutely no reason to keep it, it is a dead and gone situation, but there it lies, at the bottom of all my other text threads that are actually active.  I saw it today, and it sparked this post.  Why do people keep things ...

June 18th.  Seriously!? June 18th twenty fourteen?  Let me tell you this: last year at this moment...I lived in Loma Linda, I was unsettled, nervous about the future and had no idea where or what I was doing with my life.  I was applying for jobs, randomly, I wasn't getting any bites.  Life was in a rough patch. Let's just take into account the last 12 months of my crazy, whirlwind, learned-so-much-, grew-so-much, life: July '13: Spent 4th of July alone, survived, interviewed for a job that would take me a completely different direction, GOT IT.  Began figuring out how, when, where I was going to live in LA, obtained two best friends to be roommates with. August '13:  Started new job, part time, began commuting, hated it, but survived! Got a bomb dropped that my best friend and 1 of 2 roommates was moving to CO. Whirlwind began.  Three weeks later, full-time with new job. September '13: Continued commuting, best friend/roommate moved to Colora...

How neglecting I have been.  Birth month (also known as, October) is the last time I posted... Apologies.  My where to begin?! Living with Kadin and commuting lasted about 4 weeks.  I didn't end up subletting... Fell through. I did however "move in" with PJ. Oh my, how much of a whirlwind my life has taken since October 1st. October: I embraced full heartedly turning 28. I looked back on my year of being 27 and decided with every thing that I did, every thing that happened, and every decision I made it was my favorite year of my twenties.  Here's to hoping I make 28 even better.  A year ago I never imagined I would be living in LA, let alone working in Beverly Hills! Who am I?! I celebrated my birthday with PJ, Kadin and Paige at Everleigh in WeHo. Delicious.  PJ and Kadin and I then proceeded to go to Disney Land the next day to continue the celebrations. Paige couldn't go but she and I went to a concert (amazing) at the Hollywood Bowl (Katy Perry, and m...

So...life. As I feel like i talk about on the daily, has really taken turns in the last two months. Went through two potential roommates, both backed out, had a tentative other option, fell through. Found a few apartments, fell through for sketchy reasons. So moved in with Kadin, who I am sure is over joyed HA. Only for a few weeks before I sublet a friend of a friend's bedroom for a few weeks. Doing that for two reasons: It's extremely cheap, and I will actually inhabit LA so instead of driving 75 miles to Loma Linda, I can actually, house hunt, work out, eat dinner, sleep IN past 5am, you know shit normal people do! Wow what a novel plan. So once I do that I can fiercely hunt for a studio, which I hope to find! I am deciding I will just have to settle. Buy one of those things that goes on a steering wheel, or car wheel, so my car won't be stolen if I don't have a place with parking. I also need to pillage, I thought I did, but moving into Kadin's on Sunday really ...

Four weeks since I last wrote. Explanation?! I don't have a life right now. It's spent in my car driving to and from work, working for 9 hours and repeating. I get home and go straight to bed, get up and do it all over again.  A phrase I am over using lately: curve balls are being thrown at me left and right. In seven days I have to be out of my house, and need to move to LA. Do I have a place to live? Nope. Adventure? Maybe. Panic? Yes. Scared shitless?! For sure. But I'll survive. For some weird weird ass reason my life always falls into place. I don't know how I have managed to not get seriously ill, die in a car wreck due to anger or falling asleep at the wheel. Whatever this is that I'm doing is giving me serious perspective, forcing me to be a big girl and to deal with it. Guess what, every single person is going through shit. So my sob story is not anything different from anyone else's. But of course I feel super alone, stressed and panicked. I have some ...