I have a friend who is currently in the process of writing a book. I won't disclose details because it's such a great idea I don't want anyone to steal it! Anyway, I am heavily supporting, encouraging and offering my crazy input, grammar correction, etc. as he writes it. He's a hilarious writer, I die every time I read an entry even though I know him & am biased, I know other's will love it, find it hysterical, and I can't wait for his world wide book tour and accompanying him, and I know he can't wait either...;)
Anyway, in my world, I have been single for a long time. Ready to mingle, for sure. But single most definitely. There have been a few weird in-betweeners, but you could say, safely, that I have not been IN a relationship since I was 19. A decade, a DECADE of me time, a decade of not knowing what it's like to have someone in my life to call "mine". Or someone to spoil, dote, take me on dates, and all that sappy shit. A decade of worrying about no one, but me! Wow, narcissist. I'm fine without another person, single is something that's second nature in the world of Misty. It's great, easy, no drama! And to be honest, I am so used to thinking of a party of 1....I am not even sure HOW I would incorporate thinking for two...is there a class I can take!?
I have learned from being that go-to girl for all those dear to me, as the shoulder, the ear, and the advice giver, so many things that I won't and will do when and if I ever enter double world. (Single->double...hope you got that.)
For instance: You can't necessarily tell anything, about anyone unless you give it at least 2-3 solid dates. Unless, you just feel a mutual un-interest- I went on a date with a guy in February? Not sure, anyway, we were done with dinner in 60 minutes and just knew it was time to part ways, we left it fine and it was great to meet someone new. However, I then dated another guy in March, who wanted to kiss me and I knew it wasn't going to happen because I love to kiss and I for sure didn't want him to kiss me. I then went on FIVE really great dates with another guy, and nothing happened...it was weird. Great dates though! Great dates. So maybe this whole paragraph is pointless- you need to go in with an open mind. Bottom line.
Second- Tinder is fun. I have been on Tinder for a few months. I go in spurts and get really irritated and then I will love it, and then I will delete it. I'll have a few conversations going, give out my phone number, and then forget about it. I'll cancel dates because to be honest, I get bored and feel lazy and I just am so used to me being alone. However, I am a plus-one-aholic, but I am not sure if relationships are something I will be good at or see myself in? Ugh. How does one know? I don't ache or yearn for someone in my life. Why is that?
I will say that my "in-betweeners", were heart breaking issues. A lot of lessons learned, many, MANY tears were shed, sleepless night, etc. I was that girl, who in college, when getting interested in a guy, gave her ENTIRE self, all of it. Again, I need a class to learn a balance perhaps. This entire-self-giving-thing ended with my heart broken, multiple times. Sure I wasn't in love with the fellows, but I was interested in most of them, (ok some I just wanted to have some fun with) so when they were not interested in progressing further, I broke. Hmm...I am seeing and figuring something out right now, all of this rejection, (hate that word, but it works) may be what has lead to me being single and loving it because I know it won't happen if I keep things the way they are. I am a hater of big changes anyway..so.... makes sense right?
However from what I have learned: you do have to put yourself out there to learn lessons. You have to decide if you want to go on a date, say yes, or no. You have to decide if you want to meet someone new. Then see what happens. A first date can be the worst. Hell, I went on one last week. But it can also be a blast and who knows who you will meet out of it, or what will become of it? Or what you will learn. Protect your heart just enough that you won't be crushed if he doesn't call or text you after, but give enough that shows you're interested, have fun and see what comes next for you.
I have also learned that a broken heart, a REAL broken, can't think straight, can hardly get out of bed type of broken heart is the worst. I have witnessed this too many times through my years of being that shoulder to cry on. It looks like it could actually kill someone, I don't know if it has yet, but I have witness several near death broken hearts. It just eats away at people. It just rubs them raw, and it can take months, days, YEARS, to move on 100%. While I don't want to ever go through this, I feel like every one does. We can't all meet, fall in love, marry and remain married, to the first person we meet in fourth grade (that is MY parents, no joke. June marked their 39th wedding anniversary, and yes, they met, and started "courting" in fourth grade.) This is a rare occurrence, so everyone does experience this. Unless they are a monk or a nun or me and just don't date.
Time to go get a boyfriend? Who knows.
Anyway, in my world, I have been single for a long time. Ready to mingle, for sure. But single most definitely. There have been a few weird in-betweeners, but you could say, safely, that I have not been IN a relationship since I was 19. A decade, a DECADE of me time, a decade of not knowing what it's like to have someone in my life to call "mine". Or someone to spoil, dote, take me on dates, and all that sappy shit. A decade of worrying about no one, but me! Wow, narcissist. I'm fine without another person, single is something that's second nature in the world of Misty. It's great, easy, no drama! And to be honest, I am so used to thinking of a party of 1....I am not even sure HOW I would incorporate thinking for two...is there a class I can take!?
I have learned from being that go-to girl for all those dear to me, as the shoulder, the ear, and the advice giver, so many things that I won't and will do when and if I ever enter double world. (Single->double...hope you got that.)
For instance: You can't necessarily tell anything, about anyone unless you give it at least 2-3 solid dates. Unless, you just feel a mutual un-interest- I went on a date with a guy in February? Not sure, anyway, we were done with dinner in 60 minutes and just knew it was time to part ways, we left it fine and it was great to meet someone new. However, I then dated another guy in March, who wanted to kiss me and I knew it wasn't going to happen because I love to kiss and I for sure didn't want him to kiss me. I then went on FIVE really great dates with another guy, and nothing happened...it was weird. Great dates though! Great dates. So maybe this whole paragraph is pointless- you need to go in with an open mind. Bottom line.
Second- Tinder is fun. I have been on Tinder for a few months. I go in spurts and get really irritated and then I will love it, and then I will delete it. I'll have a few conversations going, give out my phone number, and then forget about it. I'll cancel dates because to be honest, I get bored and feel lazy and I just am so used to me being alone. However, I am a plus-one-aholic, but I am not sure if relationships are something I will be good at or see myself in? Ugh. How does one know? I don't ache or yearn for someone in my life. Why is that?
I will say that my "in-betweeners", were heart breaking issues. A lot of lessons learned, many, MANY tears were shed, sleepless night, etc. I was that girl, who in college, when getting interested in a guy, gave her ENTIRE self, all of it. Again, I need a class to learn a balance perhaps. This entire-self-giving-thing ended with my heart broken, multiple times. Sure I wasn't in love with the fellows, but I was interested in most of them, (ok some I just wanted to have some fun with) so when they were not interested in progressing further, I broke. Hmm...I am seeing and figuring something out right now, all of this rejection, (hate that word, but it works) may be what has lead to me being single and loving it because I know it won't happen if I keep things the way they are. I am a hater of big changes anyway..so.... makes sense right?
However from what I have learned: you do have to put yourself out there to learn lessons. You have to decide if you want to go on a date, say yes, or no. You have to decide if you want to meet someone new. Then see what happens. A first date can be the worst. Hell, I went on one last week. But it can also be a blast and who knows who you will meet out of it, or what will become of it? Or what you will learn. Protect your heart just enough that you won't be crushed if he doesn't call or text you after, but give enough that shows you're interested, have fun and see what comes next for you.
I have also learned that a broken heart, a REAL broken, can't think straight, can hardly get out of bed type of broken heart is the worst. I have witnessed this too many times through my years of being that shoulder to cry on. It looks like it could actually kill someone, I don't know if it has yet, but I have witness several near death broken hearts. It just eats away at people. It just rubs them raw, and it can take months, days, YEARS, to move on 100%. While I don't want to ever go through this, I feel like every one does. We can't all meet, fall in love, marry and remain married, to the first person we meet in fourth grade (that is MY parents, no joke. June marked their 39th wedding anniversary, and yes, they met, and started "courting" in fourth grade.) This is a rare occurrence, so everyone does experience this. Unless they are a monk or a nun or me and just don't date.
Time to go get a boyfriend? Who knows.
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