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The Pit

I despise this ever present feeling that I get in the pit of my stomach, on the daily.  It's just there.  I don't know why, I cannot explain it.  I don't know where it stems from.  I don't know what it means.  I am happy and love every day that I live, I love my direction.  I am not convincing myself that this is where I am supposed to be, I just feel it.  So why do I feel like this?

Do you ever feel like you relish in being able to help others with their life problems, issues, moves, happy's, sad's, so you don't have to face your own?  I don't feel like I have a lot of problems but when everything is going right with everyone in my life I have a chance to stop and look at me, and then I get scared, nervous and stressed.  It affects my overall demeanor, I probably get bitchy.  I probably get snarky.  And I require a lot of alone/quiet time.

What is my plan?  What are my goals? Where do I want to be in a few years, next week, in 3 months?  Is it bad that I don't have a set plan that's official instead I just focus on the now?  As an almost 29-year-old should this be planned and figured out?

I feel like since several of my topics lately revolve around this that it's a sign.  A sign that I don't quite have it all figured out yet.  But I have to remember that that is ok.  I just don't really feel comfortable talking about it out loud to anyone I am close to so why not share it with the cyber world?  I put it out there and don't need a response, I just vent it. I think that's why I don't talk about it to my close friends.  I don't talk about it out loud.


Five Things I Love About My Life-

My address is Los Angeles
My job
The world is at my finger tips
I can do what I want, when I want
I own a Bug...I have wanted one since I was 11.


There, that wasn't that hard.  However, there is so much to read between the lines there.  Do you ever feel like this?  I know I am not the only person in the world, my age, who feels like this.

On a side note and a more positive outlook, I love to help and assist those that I love by being a listening ear, offer my opinion, advice or helping hand. And I know that's a good attribute. So in that light...it's not so bad. :)


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