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Happiness

Happiness- something that I struggle with the meaning and stemming of, though it may not show in my bubbly, up-lifting, overly-positive and enthusiastic personality.  That IS who I AM, but I still have struggles, much like every single other human being in this world.

Others turn to me because I am that listening ear, that shoulder to cry on, that feedback giving type of soul. I am good at it, I admit, I am great at listening and helping others deal with their problems.  Just this morning I talked my sister down from an overly anxious situation she was dealing with, took the whole drive to work, but she was happy and thankful at the end of it.  I do this, on the daily with my friends, family, etc.  But how do I deal with me?  I am not sure if I do, or if me helping others- helps me unconsciously help myself because I learn from them and their situations.  I tuck my feelings, longings, & sorrows away.  I don't think any of them are big enough that I need to portray them to the world, though they probably are and it may not hurt to try a different route of handling them.  If I feel sad, I deal with it, if I feel angry, I deal with it- all quietly.  I usually write about an argument or disagreement I have with friends or family, in the notes part of my phone and that makes me feel better.  I work through it, I analyze it, overly, and I move forward.

Happiness needs to stem from within.  It cannot come from others around you.  It needs to start with you.  Think about it & ask yourselves these questions:

How old are you?  Is there where you imagined your life to be at this age?  Do you like your job? Your co-workers?  There will always be cons at the work place, but are there enough pros for you to survive?  Are things going well with your family?  Do you have a healthy relationship with your parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, or someone in your family world?  How are your friendships?  Do you feel satisfied from what you give and receive in return?  Where do you live?  Do you like it?  Are you happy with it?  There will ALWAYS be cons, no matter what, that is just life, but I fear if the pros are minimal in comparison to the cons of your current world, that results in non-happiness, therefore reflecting through your quality of life and over-all effecting you.  If you aren't happy, you don't have the capability to live.  To enjoy.  To love.

I am 28, I NEVER thought I would be living in Los Angeles at this age.  I thought for sure I would be married and have at least one child by now, this was when I was 16 that these thoughts happened, ;).  I am one thousand percent single- I am ok with it.  When people around me complain on end about being single, it irritates me, there is nothing wrong with single.  I am perfectly happy being a party of 1.  When someone does come into my life, I will be happy with that as well, know why? Because I am happy being alone.  Don't get me wrong, I GET lonely, every one does, but I can handle, and am ok, being alone.  I love being around people I care about, my closest friends, my family, the whole lot of them, sister, brother-in-law, parents, and dozens of cousins and cousins kiddos.  I love having a constant companion, be that a girlfriend, a friend, or anyone who is willing to explore the world with me, but I can handle it alone as well.  Bottom line:  I am HAPPY with my age, location and status currently.  I am pretty blessed with my job & co-workers.  I get along with everyone, that may be because I adapt and blend with most every personality and I am easy-going.  But there hasn't been one day where I dread going to work based on the environment or the people.  Sure there are days where I don't want to get out of bed because I feel lazy, but I love my job and the people within it.
I have grown to realize you don't need to have 35 friends.  2-4 close friends is plenty.  It's about quality.  And as I get older, quality becomes more and more scarce, sad but true.  Cherish what you have that has lasted longer then 5 years, and cherish the new ones that come in and bring something to your table.

Look for happiness from within you & your surroundings, not possessions, the wrong people, or lifestyles.  Find it in the small things, find it in what you already have with your life and the people that are in your life. If you can't find it- make changes.




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