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First. Date.

Am I the only girl in the world who gets in her car after a first date & immediately needs to hash it out, with SOMEONE, just talk about it? I can't be the only one.

Take my night, yesterday for instance.  Went on, what I feel like, was a decent first date.  Now, I have had several kinds of first dates, awkward ones, fun ones, ones where I wished they were over the moment they began, one where my head was literally thinking about everything else in the world but the person sitting across from me and just nodding my head and responding with a lot of "mm hmm's" with a flirty smile on my face, and ones where I couldn't wait until we could make out because the electricity in the air was just-that-good, and ones where I knew it just wasn't going to go beyond this few hours I would spend with this person, but hey at least I was trying, right?


So last night, decent.  Not sure what category it falls under yet. Went to a great bar.  Fantastic even and would definitely go back. Had three and a half hours of conversation.  Learned everything about that person's surface, age, location, job, where are you from, why LA, what's your family like, etc, etc, etc.  This guy was normal, NOT TRYING to be an actor, (IN LA THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND) genuine, fun, not terribly funny but hey, maybe that will come later, quiet, reserved and to top all of this off, a fucking STUNNER.  Gorgeous.  Like puppy dog blue eyes, 6 feet tall, dark hair, olive, gorgeous skin, speaks a little french, spoke it to me (SWOON).  We walked around the city afterward and had more conversation, both very buzzed.  Both seemingly comfortable.  


Then bam: it was done.  Hug good bye and I am in Giovanni plugging my phone in and trying to figure out who the hell I can call at 10:45PM.  One girlfriend in my time zone didn't respond, other best girlfriend an hour ahead, and other two girlfriends on east coast time...like who.  Best guy friend...didn't respond.  And because I talk to him the most and he is aware of me, and my crazy.  So I sent him voice texts, (THANK YOU iOS UPDATE) like three back to back.  They probably made no sense and this morning he responded saying, "All I got from that is that he is pretty, and not super funny." So............. yeah. I was able to hash it out to myself basically. Got no feedback from anyone, and survived.


Dating is rough.  And I am so far out of the game, like beyond, that I don't even invest any part of myself into it because of the failure I assume to come.  That sounds sad- but hear me out.


I have been single since I was 21.  I have dated plenty between then and now, I have had 2 semi-serious relationships in my whole life, one of those in high school.  I mean...all I know is single.  So I try and just allow myself to be open minded, flirty, body language forward and see what it's all about.  But I wonder if all in all I am just showing that I do not know how to do anything and that just pours out on my dates?


Who knows.  Letcha know IF there is a second date though.

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