When I was 16- I had my life planned. I knew exactly where I would be at each age of my future life- I was dumb and naive of course as all girls in high school can be about their future.
I thought this way: age 18-22 college, meet a man obviously, be married right before I graduate, start my job and he start his and just be living the high life 8 years before I turn 30! WOO HOO! I also thought then that I would consider having a baby close to 26 years old, this would give husband & I time to travel(the world, mind you) and enjoy each other's company before starting our family, so here I am all these great achievements before 30. I also thought that he would have a job that could 100% financially support us because I of course, would want to be a stay at home mom. I also thought that at 29, we would plan for baby two, unless of course the first round produced twins! Which would be so fun! (I do hope you are hearing my dry sarcasm throughout this paragraph) So again, here we have it: college degree, marriage, 2 kids, and travelling, all before I turn 30.
What a life that would have been.
Instead here is what has produced of me and who I am as a person:
I took five years to get my Bachelor's degree, no regrets, it's ok, I just took a little longer to figure out what I wanted and switched my major 95 times. Let me tell you, when you hit the first "real world" (yes there are more then one real worlds) that is college, nothing can prepare you for what's to come. You have to learn to balance an allowance, at least I did as I didn't have a job during the school year, so my parents gave me a certain amount of money every week, which was great, I also had open accounts at the university cafeteria and at the university mini mart, and a student association center that had a restaurant, and this could all be charged to my college account which went to, yes, mom and dad. So I could do what I wanted with the rest, so in other words, I was stupid and learned nothing about budgeting. Don't blame this on my parents- they taught me extremely well and I grew up having what I needed, when I needed it but also that I needed to remember the importance of saving and having a crutch (still figuring it out...). On top of balancing you have to make major choices- like what you want to do for the rest of your life! You also make choices about friends and what parties to attend, and guess what else? It's really easy to skip class, so that also becomes a choice.
So back to what happened- I graduated with a BS in 2009 instead of 2008. I moved home to Seattle until 2010, Then I made a giant leap to move to SoCal and stayed in one town until 2013. Still single, turned 25, 26, and 27 and still no kids...or world travels.... moved to Los Angeles, turned 28, and 29, and here I am! No husband, no kid, no world travels.
But guess what- the negative side of me is focusing on this because I see social media crawling with marriage, babies, etc, I hear that this is where I should be at my age, I see it every where and it just explodes all around me. I hear about friends, marriage, babies, etc that are 2-3 years younger then me. I am really struggling with reflecting on my own life and seeing that someone else's timeline- is not also your timeline. You move and do at your own pace, there is no right or wrong, ok if you still live with your parents after college, there may be something a little wrong with that...but otherwise that- I have a career that I am continuing to move up in, I have my own apartment, my own car, I pay all my own bills and buy all my own fun things. I haven't really traveled...sans a million trips to Hawaii with family, and one fantastic trip to NYC that I did on my own- but that to me is not a breaking point, I have my whole life to travel. When opportunities rise I will take them. Still struggling but slowly but surely seeing that this is ok- where I am at. It will all be ok. Only I can do my future, not reflect someone elses. So this is me, and this is 29.
I thought this way: age 18-22 college, meet a man obviously, be married right before I graduate, start my job and he start his and just be living the high life 8 years before I turn 30! WOO HOO! I also thought then that I would consider having a baby close to 26 years old, this would give husband & I time to travel(the world, mind you) and enjoy each other's company before starting our family, so here I am all these great achievements before 30. I also thought that he would have a job that could 100% financially support us because I of course, would want to be a stay at home mom. I also thought that at 29, we would plan for baby two, unless of course the first round produced twins! Which would be so fun! (I do hope you are hearing my dry sarcasm throughout this paragraph) So again, here we have it: college degree, marriage, 2 kids, and travelling, all before I turn 30.
What a life that would have been.
Instead here is what has produced of me and who I am as a person:
I took five years to get my Bachelor's degree, no regrets, it's ok, I just took a little longer to figure out what I wanted and switched my major 95 times. Let me tell you, when you hit the first "real world" (yes there are more then one real worlds) that is college, nothing can prepare you for what's to come. You have to learn to balance an allowance, at least I did as I didn't have a job during the school year, so my parents gave me a certain amount of money every week, which was great, I also had open accounts at the university cafeteria and at the university mini mart, and a student association center that had a restaurant, and this could all be charged to my college account which went to, yes, mom and dad. So I could do what I wanted with the rest, so in other words, I was stupid and learned nothing about budgeting. Don't blame this on my parents- they taught me extremely well and I grew up having what I needed, when I needed it but also that I needed to remember the importance of saving and having a crutch (still figuring it out...). On top of balancing you have to make major choices- like what you want to do for the rest of your life! You also make choices about friends and what parties to attend, and guess what else? It's really easy to skip class, so that also becomes a choice.
So back to what happened- I graduated with a BS in 2009 instead of 2008. I moved home to Seattle until 2010, Then I made a giant leap to move to SoCal and stayed in one town until 2013. Still single, turned 25, 26, and 27 and still no kids...or world travels.... moved to Los Angeles, turned 28, and 29, and here I am! No husband, no kid, no world travels.
But guess what- the negative side of me is focusing on this because I see social media crawling with marriage, babies, etc, I hear that this is where I should be at my age, I see it every where and it just explodes all around me. I hear about friends, marriage, babies, etc that are 2-3 years younger then me. I am really struggling with reflecting on my own life and seeing that someone else's timeline- is not also your timeline. You move and do at your own pace, there is no right or wrong, ok if you still live with your parents after college, there may be something a little wrong with that...but otherwise that- I have a career that I am continuing to move up in, I have my own apartment, my own car, I pay all my own bills and buy all my own fun things. I haven't really traveled...sans a million trips to Hawaii with family, and one fantastic trip to NYC that I did on my own- but that to me is not a breaking point, I have my whole life to travel. When opportunities rise I will take them. Still struggling but slowly but surely seeing that this is ok- where I am at. It will all be ok. Only I can do my future, not reflect someone elses. So this is me, and this is 29.
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