Ok so not a lifetime...but at least nearly a decade of first dates I have been on, that have not amounted to ANYTHING! I am sure you are like, "what's wrong with her...?"
I wonder that too.
Anyway, so if I were to go all the way back to high school, there would be no first dates because guess what, high school is when I had RELATIONSHIPS! How about that? Several in fact, I had...4 boyfriends. And one situation that was interesting...I mean...what happened as I got older?
College hits and single-dom began part way into my freshman year. Fun! But not, because all I had ever known was having a boyfriend, so that was a unique, awkward part of my life where I was entering my last year as a 'teen' and trying to figure out independence. It wasn't until my sophomore year that I branched myself out and met guys. I am really testing my memory here but I believe I went on about 6 first dates and several other in-between...meaning, meeting a guy at a party and it not going anywhere beyond the party but hey, you get to make out and have fun and put their number in your phone and add them on MySpace... it was wild!
I remember one in particular being a guy who could not stop talking about getting high the whole time, about how he loved to smoke week. Me being the newly 20-year-old-just-tried-my-first-alcohol-a-few-months-ago was blown minded as I wasn't interested in someone who wasn't pursuing his college career but instead was pursuing his knowledge in Mary Jane. He took me to a fancy, Italian restaurant, I remember in my head seeing all the entrees on the menu being $30 and up, and I thought, "so this is what my girlfriends mean when they say dating saves them money..." not bad right? I ordered one of the cheaper things on the menu as I wasn't into salmon, or steak. But I remember during the meal, he had this giant piece of spinach, lettuce, who knows what, on his front tooth the whole time. I didn't know what to do. I wasn't remotely interested in him, so I wasn't into telling him and making it into a flirty, joking, hear me giggle situation. I let it be. And it stayed the whole time. I also remember his last name was Church...it got to the point where I just stopped taking his calls. I would always see him at parties, I am sure he thought I was a huge bitch... oh well!
There was another who I met at a party and we clicked and he was ADORABLE. Kevin Connolly's twin. You know, 'E' from Entourage!? I was literally in love, and I am sure the vodka- cranberry I had in my red solo cup didn't enhance any of these feelings. Anyway, we danced, at a house party, in the living room. I was excited when he was behind me and holding me really close. My heart had turned into a million butterflies. We then became friends on MySpace, (PS- INSTAGRAM IS THE NEW MYSPACE, as every guy I meet on tinder immediately asks for my IG account) and he then proceeded to comment on my wall, or feed, or whatever it was, and I would write back. Eventually we learned we both liked racket ball. I immediately went to Macy's (the only department store in our tiny college town) and bought a whole, new 'workout' outfit. It was Roxy (who remembers this beach brand!?) and it was white pants, a white hoody, with like a rainbow across the chest, and ROXY on the butt. I couldn't have had a better outfit. Our date was on a Sunday afternoon. We met at our university's racket ball courts, he had rented one out for us. Luckily, since I was such a fan I had my own racket and goggles(nerd) and I could keep a volley going. The night ended watching "How to Lose A Guy In Ten Days" at his place, as I was still in an all-girls dorm(private university) that we watched for all of five minutes as the night was spent making out, obviously.
The weirdest thing- that was it! I was ok with it, I was in a place in my life where I wasn't ready for a relationship I suppose because all through high school, I was always a two-some.
The rest of the 'first dates' were not extremely memorable as you can see.
My college career produced two relationships for me- that obviously did not last, I will not get into those. Can we say, drama.
Fast forward to Los Angeles, circa 2014. BOOM-, stay with me, keep up.
Tinder has come into the world of dating, in fact, people don't even organically meet people anymore. You do it via social media, online dating, or apps where you get to swipe right or left, for a yes or a no. Based on looks alone, or if you feel like actually clicking the picture, you can see if they have anything intelligent or witty to say about themselves, or even better, post their IG account name so you can heavily stalk, (see, told you). I don't post mine, that's too easy! Here you go! Look at my life before you decide if you like me based on my looks and the 300 characters I got to write about myself! No thanks, there needs to be some conversation first.
Here's a small insight into where Tinder has taken me. Mostly just a lot of free drinks.
L
UGH- As soon as L found me at the bar, I was bummed. No attraction whatsoever. You know how when you watch someone's mouth, you can tell how good of a kisser they would be? Is it small, do they talk crooked, how are the lips? Well that's the first thing that struck me about L. I knew he would be a horrible kisser. Second, he was tiny. Don't get me wrong, I don't need someone to be a giant, but when I hug him I want to feel like the girlie girl that I am. I want him to kiss my temple or my forehead and me to fit there. I love that. I know...for being so single, I sure like cheesy relationshippy stuff. Second, he was trying to be an actor. Third, just no. He was easy to talk to, but all signs were no, no, no, and oh what was that? No, no, no, no. He drove me home which was sweet, and asked to kiss me. I said no(a word I used a lot in my head that night). He texted me the next day and asked me out the following weekend, luckily I actually had plans and turned him down nicely. He gave up after that, thankfully.
N
The next week (look at me go!), I met another guy, at the same bar. It's walking distance from my house? So this first date- turned into FIVE dates! Actually, I got some great dates out of it, and he was a really cool guy, and I thought he was sweet, but I really think I was forcing myself to feel anything, I knew it wasn't there after date 2.5. 1 & 2 were fun, halfway through 3, which was dinner & a movie, the guy didn't even try to hold my hand or put his hand on the small of my back when he opened a door for me and followed in after me, something you know means, they like you, at least a little. I think he liked me, but he took things very slowly, I mean, we didn't even hug. Date 4 was Book of Mormon at Pantages, and this guy would NEVER let me pay for anything, so what was the deal!? Date 5? Movies at his apartment...I mean....I feel like we should at least be cuddling on the couch or kiss me goodnight, if not making out... anyway, needless to say, I turned him down for date 6.
T
One date, several months after 5-date-guy, I needed a break clearly. Several drinks, several hours. He was adorable and looked like Neil Patrick Harris, but was clearly straight. I liked him, thought he was sweet, I didn't know what to think. We texted each other the next day..and then the fizz died.
J
A dinner date. No spark or chemistry... just wasn't there. He texted and pursued....I backed down quickly.
R
So... the one guy I am fiercely attracted to. We hit it off completely. He was tall, dark, handsome. We texted every day after our date, as it was two days before Christmas that we met so we knew it would be a while until we could plan something else. Maybe that's what killed it? But eventually, when we finally were both back in LA, we tried to plan our second date, and it didn't work our for either of our schedules. Then, it was over.
So here I am! Still single. Still on Tinder.
College hits and single-dom began part way into my freshman year. Fun! But not, because all I had ever known was having a boyfriend, so that was a unique, awkward part of my life where I was entering my last year as a 'teen' and trying to figure out independence. It wasn't until my sophomore year that I branched myself out and met guys. I am really testing my memory here but I believe I went on about 6 first dates and several other in-between...meaning, meeting a guy at a party and it not going anywhere beyond the party but hey, you get to make out and have fun and put their number in your phone and add them on MySpace... it was wild!
I remember one in particular being a guy who could not stop talking about getting high the whole time, about how he loved to smoke week. Me being the newly 20-year-old-just-tried-my-first-alcohol-a-few-months-ago was blown minded as I wasn't interested in someone who wasn't pursuing his college career but instead was pursuing his knowledge in Mary Jane. He took me to a fancy, Italian restaurant, I remember in my head seeing all the entrees on the menu being $30 and up, and I thought, "so this is what my girlfriends mean when they say dating saves them money..." not bad right? I ordered one of the cheaper things on the menu as I wasn't into salmon, or steak. But I remember during the meal, he had this giant piece of spinach, lettuce, who knows what, on his front tooth the whole time. I didn't know what to do. I wasn't remotely interested in him, so I wasn't into telling him and making it into a flirty, joking, hear me giggle situation. I let it be. And it stayed the whole time. I also remember his last name was Church...it got to the point where I just stopped taking his calls. I would always see him at parties, I am sure he thought I was a huge bitch... oh well!
There was another who I met at a party and we clicked and he was ADORABLE. Kevin Connolly's twin. You know, 'E' from Entourage!? I was literally in love, and I am sure the vodka- cranberry I had in my red solo cup didn't enhance any of these feelings. Anyway, we danced, at a house party, in the living room. I was excited when he was behind me and holding me really close. My heart had turned into a million butterflies. We then became friends on MySpace, (PS- INSTAGRAM IS THE NEW MYSPACE, as every guy I meet on tinder immediately asks for my IG account) and he then proceeded to comment on my wall, or feed, or whatever it was, and I would write back. Eventually we learned we both liked racket ball. I immediately went to Macy's (the only department store in our tiny college town) and bought a whole, new 'workout' outfit. It was Roxy (who remembers this beach brand!?) and it was white pants, a white hoody, with like a rainbow across the chest, and ROXY on the butt. I couldn't have had a better outfit. Our date was on a Sunday afternoon. We met at our university's racket ball courts, he had rented one out for us. Luckily, since I was such a fan I had my own racket and goggles(nerd) and I could keep a volley going. The night ended watching "How to Lose A Guy In Ten Days" at his place, as I was still in an all-girls dorm(private university) that we watched for all of five minutes as the night was spent making out, obviously.
The weirdest thing- that was it! I was ok with it, I was in a place in my life where I wasn't ready for a relationship I suppose because all through high school, I was always a two-some.
The rest of the 'first dates' were not extremely memorable as you can see.
My college career produced two relationships for me- that obviously did not last, I will not get into those. Can we say, drama.
Fast forward to Los Angeles, circa 2014. BOOM-, stay with me, keep up.
Tinder has come into the world of dating, in fact, people don't even organically meet people anymore. You do it via social media, online dating, or apps where you get to swipe right or left, for a yes or a no. Based on looks alone, or if you feel like actually clicking the picture, you can see if they have anything intelligent or witty to say about themselves, or even better, post their IG account name so you can heavily stalk, (see, told you). I don't post mine, that's too easy! Here you go! Look at my life before you decide if you like me based on my looks and the 300 characters I got to write about myself! No thanks, there needs to be some conversation first.
Here's a small insight into where Tinder has taken me. Mostly just a lot of free drinks.
L
UGH- As soon as L found me at the bar, I was bummed. No attraction whatsoever. You know how when you watch someone's mouth, you can tell how good of a kisser they would be? Is it small, do they talk crooked, how are the lips? Well that's the first thing that struck me about L. I knew he would be a horrible kisser. Second, he was tiny. Don't get me wrong, I don't need someone to be a giant, but when I hug him I want to feel like the girlie girl that I am. I want him to kiss my temple or my forehead and me to fit there. I love that. I know...for being so single, I sure like cheesy relationshippy stuff. Second, he was trying to be an actor. Third, just no. He was easy to talk to, but all signs were no, no, no, and oh what was that? No, no, no, no. He drove me home which was sweet, and asked to kiss me. I said no(a word I used a lot in my head that night). He texted me the next day and asked me out the following weekend, luckily I actually had plans and turned him down nicely. He gave up after that, thankfully.
N
The next week (look at me go!), I met another guy, at the same bar. It's walking distance from my house? So this first date- turned into FIVE dates! Actually, I got some great dates out of it, and he was a really cool guy, and I thought he was sweet, but I really think I was forcing myself to feel anything, I knew it wasn't there after date 2.5. 1 & 2 were fun, halfway through 3, which was dinner & a movie, the guy didn't even try to hold my hand or put his hand on the small of my back when he opened a door for me and followed in after me, something you know means, they like you, at least a little. I think he liked me, but he took things very slowly, I mean, we didn't even hug. Date 4 was Book of Mormon at Pantages, and this guy would NEVER let me pay for anything, so what was the deal!? Date 5? Movies at his apartment...I mean....I feel like we should at least be cuddling on the couch or kiss me goodnight, if not making out... anyway, needless to say, I turned him down for date 6.
T
One date, several months after 5-date-guy, I needed a break clearly. Several drinks, several hours. He was adorable and looked like Neil Patrick Harris, but was clearly straight. I liked him, thought he was sweet, I didn't know what to think. We texted each other the next day..and then the fizz died.
J
A dinner date. No spark or chemistry... just wasn't there. He texted and pursued....I backed down quickly.
R
So... the one guy I am fiercely attracted to. We hit it off completely. He was tall, dark, handsome. We texted every day after our date, as it was two days before Christmas that we met so we knew it would be a while until we could plan something else. Maybe that's what killed it? But eventually, when we finally were both back in LA, we tried to plan our second date, and it didn't work our for either of our schedules. Then, it was over.
So here I am! Still single. Still on Tinder.
Comments
Post a Comment