One of my girlfriends is visiting LA this week. I got to spend some time with her last night. She was saying how she came here solely to see four people. She lived here a year and a half and four people is all she wanted to see. She said it in a tone that made me interrupt her... she sounded embarrassed almost that she didn't have 95 million friends to see. I looked at her with my furrow that I know I was doing, and said, "seriously, as we get older it is about quality, not quantity. You should be happy that you have kept the four people you care about as friends and gain something from them (me being one of them...;)) enough to want to keep in touch at this point in your life." She looked at me and told me I was absolutely right.
I remember when I first got social media sites, like MySpace and Facebook, all during college and it was all I could do to add as many people as I possibly could. I wanted to have 100's of people as my 'friend.' I remember how important I thought that was.
As I have now aged and "grown up, I have since pillaged all of that nonsense. I have realized having a small group of friends that each fulfill a purpose in my life is what matters most. To surround myself with people who have drive, uplift me, are there for me, tell me like it is, or just want to go on an adventure and get into nonsense fun with. People who have qualities and morals and goals. That is what it is all about at this point in life. If they exhaust me, make me second guess my own goals, morals or boundaries, provide constant heartache and drama, it's just not worth it like it seemingly always was in high school and college.
Then there are those circumstances where there are people in your lives that come in unexpectedly and then sadly, leave. Or are forced to leave, or you grow apart from without wanting to. These are the learning experiences where, you just deal, even when you don't want to. Because in life, not everything goes exactly how you want it. You just have to realize that it has happened and you have to move forward and leave it behind. When they have specifically requested to not hear from you because they are really down and hurt and you remind them too much of a time they were happy. Or they think you have changed and that they don't really feel a part of your life anymore. Or they just move on and don't really need you anymore- always a shitty situation. All three I have gone through in the last year and a half, one in particular much more recently, and it was actually put on me today....all have taught me a great deal about life. The song by Alanis Morisette (probably butchered her name...but any kid growing up in the 90s knows who I am referring)- "You live, you learn, you love, you learn, you cry, you learn, you lose, you learn..." and so on. Here we are 20 years later or so and those words still, and will always ring true.
You just, deal.
I remember when I first got social media sites, like MySpace and Facebook, all during college and it was all I could do to add as many people as I possibly could. I wanted to have 100's of people as my 'friend.' I remember how important I thought that was.
As I have now aged and "grown up, I have since pillaged all of that nonsense. I have realized having a small group of friends that each fulfill a purpose in my life is what matters most. To surround myself with people who have drive, uplift me, are there for me, tell me like it is, or just want to go on an adventure and get into nonsense fun with. People who have qualities and morals and goals. That is what it is all about at this point in life. If they exhaust me, make me second guess my own goals, morals or boundaries, provide constant heartache and drama, it's just not worth it like it seemingly always was in high school and college.
Then there are those circumstances where there are people in your lives that come in unexpectedly and then sadly, leave. Or are forced to leave, or you grow apart from without wanting to. These are the learning experiences where, you just deal, even when you don't want to. Because in life, not everything goes exactly how you want it. You just have to realize that it has happened and you have to move forward and leave it behind. When they have specifically requested to not hear from you because they are really down and hurt and you remind them too much of a time they were happy. Or they think you have changed and that they don't really feel a part of your life anymore. Or they just move on and don't really need you anymore- always a shitty situation. All three I have gone through in the last year and a half, one in particular much more recently, and it was actually put on me today....all have taught me a great deal about life. The song by Alanis Morisette (probably butchered her name...but any kid growing up in the 90s knows who I am referring)- "You live, you learn, you love, you learn, you cry, you learn, you lose, you learn..." and so on. Here we are 20 years later or so and those words still, and will always ring true.
You just, deal.
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